Kelly
R. (Haskins) Stonerock was NOT raised in a Christian home. At 15 years old,
she joined a Christian group called, "Campus Life." Easter break,
1983, Kelly accompanied some teenagers on a bus trip to Florida. While observing
the other teenagers, Kelly saw a joy in their lives she had never seen before.
It was beyond the familiar emotion of happiness...she saw supernatural joy.
In that moment, Kelly took her seat on the bus and said, "Jesus, these
kids have a joy that I don't have and I know it has to do with you. I want you in my life too!" That spring, Kelly chose Jesus Christ as
her Savior. Upon her 1985 graduation from Clarkston Senior High, in Clarkston,
Michigan, Kelly attended Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She received
a BA in 
Communications and a minor in Journalism. However, the most valuable
life lesson she discovered on campus was that Jesus could be more than her
Savior, but, also her Lord. Today Kelly serves alongside her husband, Pastor
Jeff Stonerock, at Victory
World Outreach Center in Goodrich, Michigan. They have six children, four
sons of their own and a neice and a nephew for whom they have guardianship.
How
we decided to Participate in "Wife Swap"
It was the first time I ever saw the television show, "Wife
Swap." The announcer stated, "If you would like to participate on
ABC's Wife Swap" go to www.abc.com.
Had my computer not been plugged into my phone line during the show, I may
not have inquired about participation or responded to ABC's request for an
application. Considering the possibility that we could make a difference
in the lives of others, I sent the application by mail. As I dropped
the envelope into the mailbox, I audibly prayed with my children, "May the
favor of God be upon this application and may we be selected for your glory."
Little did I know the whirlwind that would ensue within a week of mailing
that application. One week later, I received a call from a casting agent
informing me that we were selected out of 10,000 applications and that they
would like to fly a director out from Great Britain immediately. Six
days later, a director arrived to capture us on film and present our family
as potential participants to ABC executives. It was a spontaneous
idea to send an application, now ABC executives approved of our family and
they really were requesting our participation.
A decision of this nature should not be taken lightly. We were not interested
in being on television for the sake of being on television. For six
weeks, producers, directors, and a psychologist were all flown out to
our home in preparation for the "Swap." We consistently warned them
that we had not even agreed to participate. Just six months prior, my
husband was secretly judging the decision of a fellow minister friend that
was proclaiming the gospel in a bar. My husband thought to himself,
"That's just wrong, I could never do that." Now, we were entertaining
the possibility of going on a secular television program called, "Wife Swap."
My husband had to work through what he calls religious,
putting God in a box thinking. Today, my husband can't even consider
judging another minister or ministry for their methods of preaching the gospel.
Driven by the concerns communicated to us from two, respected friends of ours,
we did not agree to do the show, but rather continued on a six week quest
for information, insight, wisdom and knowledge. We respected the opinions
of our friends and we wanted to make the right decision. We were torn
between the potential of helping others on such a large, global format and
the high risk associated with our position as pastors, the potential risk
to our church, the risk to the Christian community and the risk associated
with the unpredictable medium of television. We knew we had a responsibility
that was beyond ourselves; We had a responsibility towards all that identify
themselves as Christians. We requested to speak to a former participant.
We asked her specific questions regarding whether she was accurately portrayed,
whether editing was manipulated and we sought her advice regarding participation.
She gave us greater confidence in the production company.
We sought counsel from those that are experienced in the medium of television,
such as Phil Cooke, a media director associated with Joyce Meyers Ministries.
His practical advise was invaluable. We sought counsel from conservative
organizations that cater to pastors at the pastoral care line of Focus on
the Family. Considering each case they hear individually, they commended
my husband for his vision and his guts. We sought counsel from both
those we expected would support our vision of outreach and those that we expected
could not support our participation. There were days we could whole
heartedly see how God could use this show for His glory and help people and
days that the risk was simply to high to consider. Despite our wavering
thoughts and the expressed concerns of others, we both still sensed an overwhelming
peace about our involvement. We were advised by many respected ministers
to simply "Ride the train until we no longer sensed the peace of God."
We remained open-minded and open-hearted. We listened intently, with
receptive ears, to those that opposed our participation. Yet, each opposition
posed did not deter us from participating, but rather provided insight into
how we could be more effective. We had numerous ministers simply advise us
to not be moved by what anyone says for or against our involvement.
They re-assured us of what we already knew, we had to hear from God ourselves.
One night, after reading a book about evangelism by Ray Comfort, I awoke
every other hour in a sweat. I awoke to unaudible, but the clearly commanding
words, "Go! Go! Go! into the world and preach the gospel." That morning
I went for a walk to talk with God. I returned from my walk and declared
to Jeff, "I am done wavering. I believe we are to "Go into the the world
and preach the gospel." I believed I had finally heard from God on the
matter. However, Jeff had not. As a couple, the two of us never
make a decision of this nature without both of us hearing the go ahead.
The next two days were spent with the producer reading and reviewing a twenty
page contract. We still had not indicated that we were going to participate
in the program. We were asked to sign the contract and did not.
We simply could not make that decision without both of us hearing from God.
Then....through prayer, Jeff received an analogy that led him to believe it
was God's will for us to participate.
Imagine you are walking down the sidewalk of a small, rural town. You are a well-known citizen of the community. You are well respected by others. You are a faithful member of your local church. Suddenly, a man approaches you. In a state of panic, he proclaims, "There has been an accident across the street. I am going for help." Being concerned, you cross the street to offer help. As you stand outside the building, you hear cries from within. You rush over to the door to enter the building when you discover the words, "House of ill repute"(A Brothel) written above the doorway. You think to yourself, "I cannot go into a place like that; it would spoil my reputation. I would get my suit dirty. What would people think of me if I went into a place like that? I could actually get hurt myself if I went into a place like that." Your mind wrestles with the risks and the potential negative consequences, yet all the while you hear the cries of the people from within the building getting louder and louder. Another thought occurs to you, "I'll wait for others to come and help." Overcome by compassion for the cries you hear from inside the building, you boldly cast aside all your fears and choose to enter the smoke filled building. Bravely, you pull out each individual. Unknown to all, a gas leak causes the building to go up in flames just as you pull the last victim from the rubble.
The opportunity to participate in the ABC television program, "Wife Swap" is much like this story. In somewhat of a vision, God gave me this image. As I peered across the victims in this story, God told me, "This is based on a true story, this is your story. You have been standing at the door, entertaining all the reasons and excuses of why you should not enter through the doorway. The cries of a hurting and dying world must become much louder than your fears and concerns."
There is a TV show called, "Wife Swap." The name alone is like the sign over the doorway of that smoke filled building. What pastor would participate in such a program? My wife and I have argued the reasons not to walk through this door of potential opportunity for two months. This "vision" has helped us set aside all our fears and concerns. We believe we must simply trust God and obey Him. We do not want to limit what God could use for His glory.
He shared that analogy the next day. It was Sunday morning and I, along with the visiting producer and the congregation heard Jeff declare for the first time that we were going to participate on ABC's "Wife Swap." As the story progressed, I could predict where the story was heading. I wondered what the response of our congregation would be. Upon his announcement, our congregation broke out in cheers. Three weeks later taping began for the Pastors Wife meets Atheist episode of "Wife Swap."
